Celebrity Cage Match 2: Enraged Employee Edition Round 2
Versus
The Fight
🧇 Waffle House (Wendy Waffleiron) vs. 🥞 Denny’s (Grand Slam Greg)
Wendy Waffleiron limped into battle, gripping her spatula staff and a half-eaten waffle. “Greg,” she snarled, “I served breakfast in a hurricane with two broken griddles. What you got?” She slammed her elbow down, releasing a geyser of jam fog and apathy.
Grand Slam Greg rolled up in a booth-mounted war rig. “I’m the last line of defense against 3 a.m. regrets,” he said, pressing a button that launched laminated menus like buzz saws. His toast discs now doubled as frisbee defibrillators. One nearly took out a parked Prius.
Each combatant landed blow after blow… a half-drank coffee cup to the head here… an overcooked grilled cheese to the solarplexes there…. Blood and mayonnaise coated every surface of the parking lot, like white snow mixed with anger.
The Final Blow: After an epic pancake-charged uppercut, both warriors collapsed simultaneously into a booth labeled “Please Wait to Be Seated.” Greg scanned his opponent and screamed, “You’re nothing but Redneck Hibachi!” Wendy, stunned by the truth of Greg’s insult, collapsed into a small green blob of goo. Denny’s wins out of an abundance of the truth.