The Fight

🧇 Waffle House (Wendy Waffleiron) vs. 🍔 McDonald’s (Ronald Rageclown)

Wendy Waffleiron somersaulted into the parking lot, wearing a waffle iron like armor and sipping decaf rage. “Ronald!” she growled, “I’m what happens when breakfast stays up too late.” She raised her spatula staff and conjured a tidal wave of hashbrowns and regret.

Ronald Rageclown floated down from a helium archway, his face painted in betrayal and brand synergy. “Don’t make me go all Hamburgler on you,” Ronald screamed. “That little felon taught me how to prison fight!” The battlefield soon reeked of ketchup and confusion as Wendy threw coffee and what looked like scrambled eggs to counter Ronald’s 32-year-old warm apple pies.

The final blow: Wendy Waffleiron was about to fall just inches short of victory—but Ronald accidentally stepped into an overflowing grease trap that looped him back into the Waffle House dining room… where he’s now forced to refill coffee forever. Wendy Waffleiron wins, and Ronald becomes an eternal Waffle House employee.

Back to Round 1