Celebrity Cage Match 2: Enraged Employee Edition Round 1
Versus
The Fight
👑 Burger King (Flame-Broil Fred) vs. 🍝 Olive Garden (Breadstick Bruno)
Flame-Broil Fred arrived riding a Whopper-themed hoverboard. “The crown’s not a prop—it’s a warning,” he snarled, flinging onion rings in flaming arcs. He looked like a king but screamed like a queen, “I RULE!”
Breadstick Bruno floated across the battlefield on a raft of Pasta Fagioli. “You want heat? I was baked in an emotional oven,” he screamed, hurling breadsticks like divine javelins and quoting Italian opera lyrics with weeping sincerity. “You may be here, but you ain’t no family of mine.”
Fred wasted no time in attacking Bruno, screaming, “You’re barely old enough for a Whopper Jr.” Bruno recoiled and then countered with an avalanche of endless salads and a highly questionable bread stick. “Face it, Old Man…. This country has no Kings!”
The Final Blow: Fred tackled Bruno straight into a vat of Alfredo—but Bruno had laced the sauce with carb-enhancing elixir. He emerged from the cheesy goodness stronger, shinier, and lactose-fueled. Fred was last seen trapped inside a novelty-sized to-go box. Bruno wins. Olive Garden ascends.