Celebrity Cage Match 2: Enraged Employee Edition Round 1
Versus
The Fight
🥞 Denny’s (Grand Slam Greg) vs. 🛒 Walmart (Great Value Gertrude)
Grand Slam Greg emerged from the booth bunker, butter in one hand and vengeance in the other. “I’ve served breakfast through hurricanes,” he bellowed, flinging toast disks that exploded on impact. A cloud of powdered sugar formed a tactical smokescreen.
Great Value Gertrude charged at Greg with a clearance-saber and a grocery catapult. “I don’t do price matching—I do pain matching,” she hissed, unloading an avalanche of inflatable pool flamingos and Halloween candy from 2003. The sky turned pastel with useless inventory.
Grand Slam Greg, never one to back down from a great value, countered with a classic slam and a warning: “You may give great deals on crap, but nobody’s coming for your eggs at 3 am!” Gertrude, agast at the mockery, retorted “Those aren’t even real eggs, you chicken fraud!”
The Final Blow: They clashed until Greg threw his laminated menu like a boomerang. Gertrude deflected—but the menu kept circling. It finally hit her from behind, knocking her into a $3 bin of cowboy hats and Direct-to-DVD movies. Greg won—and Gertrude’s fate? She’s seen now and again haunting Aisle 14 with Rollback signs under her arms and defeat in her eyes.