One day, Ryan was driving his sheep-dog van on an empty highway in the middle of Kansas, a moon pie in one hand and a Jolt Cola in the other. The Clown College Dropout was on his way to Maine, even though he was driving West. Don’t Ask.

On the same desert highway was Dan, hitchhiking his way west. Standing by the side of the road, he has his arm extended, thumb pointing skyward in the classic hitchhiker pose. In his other hand, he holds a sleek, professional-looking briefcase. His expression is one of hopeful anticipation mixed with a hint of road weariness.

Ryan, never one to leave a person in distress and oblivious to any form of danger, pulled the Sheep Dog over and waved Dan towards the passenger door. “Where are you headed?” asked Dan. “Well, I’m on my way to Maine… Or Montana… Maybe Mississippi.”, explained Ryan. “Great, can you drop me off at Aspen?” asked Dan. “Sure, as long as we don’t run out of gas first!”, retorted Ryan.

Dan climbed in the passenger door and plopped on the sheep dog seat. “What’s your name, stranger?” asked Ryan.

“I’m Dan”, Dan stated cheerfully. “Nice to meet you. What’s your name?”

Ryan looked at Dan cautiously. “I just saw you hitchhiking. It’s not safe to give you my personal information yet.”

“But you picked me up”, Dan stated warily.

Inside the quirky van, the atmosphere shifted. Ryan stared at Dan, his brow furrowed. His expression conveys a mix of caution and mild suspicion.

“You could be a serial murderer!” Ryan belted.

Dan looked at Ryan with a quizzical look. “I have never murdered any cereal in my life!”

Ryan smiled and stated “Okay, I’m Ryan!”

Ryan pulled out a map of the United States, and pointed at Alaska. “We are here.”

Dan, not wanting to question his new friend’s map-reading skills, nodded in approval.

Ryan, pointing at Iowa, stated “This is Maine. The quickest way to get there is to go over this giant blue area and then go over the brown stuff.

Ryan corrected, “unless we want to go to Montana, in which case we have to go here.” Ryan pointed at Arizona on the map and looked at Dan for Approval.

Dan stated, “I’m not good with humidity. Do we really want to go to Montana? Maybe we could go to Aspen?”

Ryan responded angrily “Why would we want to go to Aspen? Do you have a swimsuit inside that briefcase?”

“No, this briefcase is a love memento”, claimed Dan. “The most beautiful woman in the world left this for me at the airport. And then she flew out of my life forever.”

“Why would she leave that for you at the airport?”, questioned Ryan.

Dan responded, “Maybe she wanted me to follow her. I’m not sure. But I’m on my way to Aspen to bring her back the briefcase.”

“How long ago did she fly to Aspen?” asked Ryan.

“5 days ago. If my car hadn’t broken down, I could have met her at the airport when she landed.”

Ryan looked quickly at the map. “OMG we need to get you to Aspen!”

Dan looked confused. “Would she have landed already? She could be anywhere!”

Ryan thought for a moment, and then stated “You know how those airport delays are. She’s probably still hovering above Aspen!”

Ryan stomped the gas, sending the Sheep Dog Van flying forward. “We’ll be there in a few hours!”

Dan looked at the map and then at Ryan. “Shouldn’t we be heading west?”

“Absolutely!” Ryan exclaimed, continuing to accelerate down the highway.

Dan thought carefully about how to explain west in the opposite direction. “Isn’t west a W on the compass?”

“Common mistake!”, claimed Ryan. “Compasses work based on the second letter. We need to go towards the E.”

Dan, knowing better than to argue with someone that would drive a sheepdog, sat back in his seat and waited for Ryan to figure it out.

Several hundred miles in the wrong direction, Dan asked “Can we turn on the radio in here?”

“Radio?”, yelled Ryan. “We don’t need a radio. We have something better than a radio!”

“What’s that?”, queried Dan.

“Mock!” sang Ryan.

“Yeah?”. responded Dan

“Ing” sang Ryan

“Yeah?”, repeated Dan

What happened next was one of the great miracles of all time. Dan and Ryan sang the Mockingbird song for the next 14 hours, passing through Kansas, Colorad, back in Kansas, through Oklahma, into an unnamed state, and finally into Aspen…. Which, according to AI, is its own state, kinda close to what should be Texas.

And there is the story of how Dan met Ryan.