Celebrity Cage Match 2: Enraged Employee Edition Round 2
Versus
The Fight
🪑 Cracker Barrel (White Supremacy Walter) vs. 🌮 Taco Bell (Mystery Victor from Round 1)
White Supremacy Walter surveyed the battlefield from his rocking chair tank. “You weren’t even supposed to be here,” he grumbled, chewing a biscuit. He fired gravy mortars while humming a folk tune titled Revenge Is a Side Dish.
Taco Bell’s Mystery Victor, wearing a sauce packet cape, skidded in on a Dorito-themed hoverboard. “I am chaos in a wrapper,” he declared, launching sour cream ninja stars and whispering cryptic slogans like “Fourth Meal is Forever.”
“We don’t like your kind ’round these parts”, Walter quipped while whittling a chunk of wood into a coffee mug. “I know amigo…. You don’t even put brown rice on your menu.” The two stood eye-to-eye, refusing to avert their gaze. Taco Bell’s Employee Of The Millenium charged had with a breakfast burrito and a smile gleaming through his mask, screaming about his family just living the American Dream.
The Final Blow: But Walter, unfazed, summoned Benjamin the Taxidermy Squirrel again, now riding a butter missile. The squirrel whispered secrets in the Bell Warrior’s ear… who melted into existential confusion. “Am I even a menu item?” he asked, before vanishing. Cracker Barrel wins by identity crisis.