Weird Stuff We Found on Temu

This is the list of items we found on Temu in Season 2 Episode 3. Click on the image to go to the Temu link for each product and purchase your own slice of……… something.

Dan’s List

Ryan’s List

Do you love Barney and hate the Government? Here’s the easy way to show your love and hate, and potentially get audited every year until you die.

Who hasn’t had an amazing day, laughed like crazy, then put a bumper sticker on their car letting everyone know that today won’t stop their manic depression?

Want to over-compensate for your whiteness? Feeling left out of the systemic racism and police brutality that black people enjoy every day? Get your own “I Love Being Black” t-shirt and blend right in.

Drive your friends crazy by putting outlets on your wall that do nothing. Want to charge your phone, friend? No, fuck you! Want to plug in your laptop, friend? No, fuck you! Have that mysterious toy that you seem to need to constantly recharge, roomate? No, fuck you!

Yes, it’s fucking Grimace….. WTF am I supposed to say?

Pickle-as Cage? Nicholas Pickleous? Turd on a string? We’re not sure what to call this thing…… Honestly….. It looks like a turd on a string with Nicholas Cage glaring out at us, while still having “Han Solo frozen in Carbonite” vibes to it.

Nigerian Dwarf Drive… At the intersection of Lesbian Muslim Road. We can’t tell if this is more offensive to black people or little people, but the high color accuracy shines through.

Gather your lesbian friends and make the most disturbing porn ever with these turtle shell wearable costumes…. I’d pay to see that.

You know that blind neighbor always harassing you about making too much noise, even though it’s your spouse’s fault for being a screamer? Well, now there’s a hilarious Christmas Gift you can give them that he’ll never see the confused looks on their faces.

Wrong! Just wrong! No matter what you say about these, they are wrong. They shouldn’t exist, and neither should crocs. Go get some real footwear and keep your toes attached or we’ll start calling you Marjorie Taylor Greene.

A little kitty meat…. a little toddler burrito. Some condiments…. WAIT…. WHY ARE THEY USING A KNIFE AND FORK TO EAT THE BABY????????????

Lick it real good Grandma……….. I may be touching myself tonight after this one……

Ryan wants you to call him Daddy!

Have you ever wanted a switchblade SOOO bad but not really that bad? Do you love hotdogs, but only when they are fake and sort of lethal? Mix your love of hotdogs with your love of martial arts with this hotdog switchblade!

Look out Jesus and Baby T-Rex!!! That Volcano’s about to blow!!!!!!

MTCA – Making Toilets Clean Again. Who better to clean your toilet than the Bigly toilet brush head himself, Donald Trump.

All I wanted was a Podcast where I could do stupid stuff. That wasn’t too much to ask, was it? Just some harmless stupidity with a friend where we did fun stuff and nobody got hurt? Then, THIS SHIT HAPPENED!!!!

Never let your left foot be lonely again! Welcome to Magnetic Sock Buddies….. When you want to trip on your own two feet. Added Bonus: Eyes sown into the socks that gaurantee to inflict maximum pain when they get stuck in your boots.

Admit it… You always wanted to play Grand Theft Auto: Real Life. But your fear of your headrests being identified has kept you from beating up hookers and running over the neighborhood brats for too long. Well, Temu has the solution.